i'm about to go to bed, and i'm still wearing my shoes. my 34 years have finally caught up with me & i'm really scared, because every last part of me wants to run away so fast right now. but i'm not giving up. i know i have to learn this lesson.
i must learn to trust that not every relationship ends in abandonment.
Immodest creature, you do not want
a woman who will accept your faults,
you want one who pretends
that you are faultless–one who will
caress the hand that strikes her
and kiss the lips that lie to her.
George Sand, Intimate Journal, 1834
here you are, on the last day of august, completely calm and content:
in front lies the imminent reminder of how small you are. yet there you are:
in full embrace of this never-ending expanse of cloud in the sky.
out there in front of us, as Nature, we perceive such awe-inspiring vastness
as a kind of testament to life.
inside of us, as Human Nature, we receive that same vastness
with panic and discontent. it is easy to allow it to consume us, paralyze us.
and a kind of entropy occurs.
it’s funny how we feel so desperately alone when we are afraid,
yet we are so universally bound by this emotion.
there is so much more i want to say to you, Todd,
but i figured i’d start with this picture, and with the reminder
that our experience of this vastness can be so quickly transformed
(not always, but we can try regardless)
with just a bit of sunshine, some cheddar cheese, a few beers,
and in the company of a friend. add a dash of music,
and a few stray cows, and voila…
i love you, sweetheart.
samira
